So - I am fast forwarding, eventually the gaps will fill - but I have been in charge of Moms care since New Years of 2020. Her husband passed away on hospice and I moved in the week prior to his death. Thank God they had some cash in a safe which allowed me to pay two ladies we found and I could go back to work. They covered the days and my husband & I did the nights & weekends (I have the worlds greatest husband). You don't realize the toll it takes to put your whole family aside and uproot your life. Not to mention the added stress from the actual unknown and having your Moms life and future in your hands. Even for a week - never mind an entire month (& beyond)
We started digging into the finances. This was a job in itself! We were thrilled to find that Mom had a decent amount of money tucked away for her care - AND she has a long term care insurance policy. The policy covers a decent amount, I actually had thought about trying to get her in a facility when her husband was alive because he was sick and her care was suffering greatly. He said absolutely not he wants my Mom to die in the home. (That is a blessing because that is what I want and I have zero problem spending every penny of her money making that happen). We looked into 24-7 home care companies and doing the math realized quickly it wouldn't work for us.
I bit the bullet and put an ad up on Care.Com. I started searching caregivers and looking for the ones that had on their profiles that they were open to a live in position. I sent a message to Moms current live in. We talked over text, then we talked over the phone. We met in person with my whole family. I checked all her references and they were glowing!! The situation worked for her and it worked for Mom. I hired her on the spot and she was to start on Feb 1st 2021!
HOW was it only a month since her husband had died?! That could not be true! Some of his family members just couldn't understand why I was in such a hurry. Judging me, while offering no help and actually causing a ton of stress. Yes they were grieving but I learned quickly that my Mom's husband did a great job of making sure nothing went smooth for myself or my Mother. And also making himself out to be such a loving and misunderstood husband. He tried to act like Mom not liking him was the illness. He tried to act like he did nothing to cause the rift between my family and him! Well here is the deal. My Mom has her Angels on her side and they have my back! I will win this ultimate battle and my Mom will have a wonderful love filled ending - even if it kills me!! Which it just may honestly my stress levels are through the roof. He won't win this battle. He made his bed, I am the most forgiving person in the world - but the things he did are not forgivable in my eyes.
I am a Libra, I like peace, and harmony - happiness and roses!! This was none of the sort! This was fear, and doubt and frustration and lonliness and stomachaches and self doubt, tossed with family drama caused by an angry vindictive man who's goal was to punish me from the grave. I am a Libra - and if I want peace and love and harmony I have to learn to let that go - maybe even cough cough FORGIVE???? I don't know - thats for another day.
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